Rain, finally

We finally got some rain today. It's been dry for over a month, and this morning, after two days of steady showers, I checked the rain gauge. It's an electronic weather station I got for Jane for Christmas a couple of years ago. We had 4.5 inches, over the past 24 hours when I went to work, and over 5 by the time I got home this evening. I can hardly believe it. 

I went to the creek to check it out this evening, and yes, it's high. I wanted to work out a graph of the precipitation vs. time - just to be geeky about it, but I accidentally deleted the history.dat file that the weather station uses to record the data. I guess that's a suitably geeky way to screw it up :) It's nice to have a little rain for a change.

Normal day

Good news today - I got through the day without a pounding headache, so it seems the lumbar puncture is healing. The headaches have been getting later and later in the day, so my assumption is that whatever leak was causing them is slowly sealing itself

Sunday was a great time - 3 friends from college made their way to our house and we all had fun grilling brats and kabobs out on the deck. For the guys who read this - thanks for coming out. It was awesome getting to hang out like old times, and we plan to do it again as soon as things clear up on my end.

Not a whole lot else to report, Margaret is having fun at school and Madeline is getting mommy all to herself these days.

I've started on an ambitious program to make seltzer water, and am working on changing around my kegerator setup to support this. I've found that I  rather like seltzer and it's easier to stomach than other carbonated beverages when I get out of the hospital. 

Slow march forward

Last night, I lay down in our rocking swing and watched the bats from my back porch. We have three or four bats that come out each night around sundown to eat the bugs. Staring up at the sky, it was fascinating watching them dive and swoop and feed. I started to think about how small I am, how small we all are, and about what my place in God's plan is.
I came to no firm conclusions.

I'd wax more philosophic, but I've been doing a lot of that lately, and don't want to wear my readers out with a lot of navel-gazing nonsense. Suffice it to say that I've been thinking a great deal about where I fit into the scheme of things, and why this whole experience has been handed to me. I feel like there should be a reason for all of this, but I doubt that I'll find out that reason.

As for pain, today was better than Friday, which was better than Thursday, which was better than Wednesday. It seems the lumbar puncture and its headaches are going away, albeit ever so slowly. I hope that by Mon or Tues they will be completely gone.

This afternoon, I had old friends from my high school over. It was great getting together again. Not quite like old times - we had the kids in tow - but I really enjoyed spending time with them and just talking the way you do with people you've known forever.

Tomorrow, a good friend of mine from University (JMU) is coming over. I look forward to a repeat of today's experience.

By the way, the results from the initial analysis of the spinal fluid came back. It looks like there is no evidence of the lymphoma cells in the spinal column. So that is good news. Hopefully, future tests will show the same.

Wednesday headache

I'm home again, but the past few days have been, difficult - to put it mildly. I talked to the spine doctor to get some details, and from what I've been told, the lumbar puncture has leaked. This has resulted in some pretty debilitating headaches. If I lie down, the pain subsides a bit, if I stand or sit - ouch. ('Ouch' is actually an understatement). The pain is - and I don't use the word lightly - excruciating.

It looks like there's nothing for this but time, or a blood patch which is another invasive procedure I've been hoping to avoid. Given my first experience with a spine-related operation I'm planning on giving it another day or so before going that route.

Returning from the hospital has been nice - it's great to see the girls, Jane, and my parents again. There's lots more food from the garden, and we've had some great meals. I'm really excited to get away from the routine of hospital food and shots, and blood draws, and pills... I'm ecstatic to see my family and have the comforts of home.

Not much else to report. I hope the things are less intense tomorrow.

3rd Day In

Well, it's been a fun few days. First the nervousness about the scan results, then the spinal tap, then 2 more days of chemo.

This round has been a little rougher than the first two. This is for a couple of reasons: 1) That spinal tap on Friday was not without entirely negative effects. I've had a perpetual headache for since about two pm on Friday, which only goes away when I'm horizontal in bed, have an ice pack, and an medicated. I've been able to maintain that position for about 40% of the day. But I'm naturally an antsy guy, and so I like to try to get up and move around the floor. This results in my having to go back to my room after 10 mins or so clutching my head like the morning after a New Years Eve party. But it does seem to be slowly improving. I'm holding out hope for less pain tomorrow.

2) My does of the chemo meds has been bumped up about 20%, and this seems to be wearing me out a little more than usual.

These two trifles have been more than offset my many friends and family coming to visit and chat. They've also brought goodies double-gulps, and toys which haves kept me all hooked up with nutrition, entertainment, and good cheer. Thank you to everyone who visited and who haves kept me in your thoughts and prayers. Please believe me when I say it's been a great help.

Also, I got to have lunch with Jane and the girls this afternoon and that always puts me in a better mood. Another note - I found that we are allowed to leave the floor and go down to a place called 'Gilly's garden'. It's a short walk but it is so very nice to get out an have a little fresh air.

I'm also playing a little computer chess to pass the time, and have started a new audio book called 'Ender's Game' . Early days yet, on both of these, so we'll see whether i become a chess master or a sci fi addict. :)

This is Spinal Tap

Today I was admitted to Martha Jefferson hospital for round 3 of chemo. This week, there's a new treat in store for me - my first intrathecal chemotherapeutic treatment. For those of you who aren't familiar with the term, intrathecal is the term which is used for 'spinal tap'. Yes, Spinal Tap, as in the band.

I have to admit, I've been a little freaked out about the prospect of getting this kind of procedure, but the doctors and nurses assured me (albeit sheepishly) that the procedure was easy and that the pain would be minimal.

On the first count they were pretty much right - I had no issues with the procedure - the guys in radiology are great and reassuring. Using an xray, they pinpointed the place where the needle would go. There was a quick pinprick with a local anesthetic to numb the area, and the rest was just me lying on my stomach while fluid drained into tubes for testing. I'm not sure when I get the results. The doctor then injected chemotherapy liquid into the spine. And that was it! Not much pain, nothing exciting. Afterwards, when the nurse asked me what my pain was on a scale of 1 to 10, I was able to say three.

So all was good - until around 2 pm- about 4 hours later. Something kicked in. Some pressure built up or something. Because at that point, my head began to hurt - then my shoulders - then my neck. Pretty soon, I had a much higher level of pain. We're working to treat it and some associated nausea now. Hopefully this will all be done and better tomorrow.

Right now - if were asked again, - I'd say, "It goes to 11" :)

Scan Results

Waiting for the results of the CAT scan today I was a bundle of nerves. At 3pm we went to Martha Jeff and waited like what seemed for hours.

Finally the nurse came in to take my blood sample and joke. Funny, but I've been a little focused on all the bad and scary things involved with having this disease. Talking to the nurse put things in perspective - her mother and husband both had in the past year been diagnosed with cancer. Her mother is a terminal inoperable case; I'm not sure about her husband. That put things into perspective.

At any rate, the nurse practitioner came in and gave me the news. It seems that the scan determined that I am not feline. just kidding... (Yes, more CAT scan jokes)

The results of the secondary scan, as compared to my initial CAT and PET scans show that nearly all of the major visible tumors have shrunk. The primary mediasteinal tumor (the big one in my chest) has shrunk by over 1/2. There's no good info on the bone tumors since they don't really show up on these kind of scans. But all in all, it seems like great news.

I don't want to get too excited yet, but the early results seem good. This kind of news will carry me into tomorrow's treatment with a little more spring in my step... I need that spring :)

CAT Scan

So today they wanted to scan my felines :) Vinx and Shine (our cats) were appalled that they had to drive down to Martha Jeff at Pantops for an inspection. No, I'm just kitten, they wanted to scan me and give me an update on how the chemo is treating the tumor and its metastatic friends. Today no news otherwise, but I'll find out the state of things tomorrow. I had a chance to chat with a radiologist tech who particpated in my first diagnosis. She was very kind, as have been all of the Martha Jeff personnel I've encountered. 

Jane and I got to take a long walk with the dogs yesterday and today. It was great. I can think of no better way to spend my time. Today, thankfully (thankfully, because we desperately need the rain) we were interrupted by a thunderstorm, and had to run home. It's the first time we've gone running together. Tomorrow, after our visit with the doctors, we plan to go see Journey to the Center of the Earth (in super 3-d!!!!) and have Thai food for dinner. My biggest  dilemma now is whether to order the Crispy Fish, or stick with something more pedestrian. 

On Friday, I begin my next chemo treatment.  

Not much to tell otherwise. I'm hopeful for that the additional diagnosis tomorrow will prove positive. Again, thanks all for your encouraging words and prayers and support. I do appreciate all of my friends reading this, and hope that I can reward your support by fully recovering :)

Weekend

We had a great weekend. Not that we did anything interesting or noteworthy, but it was really nice being home with my family. Jeff, my bro, came out to visit. My mom and dad also came up from Florida.

We hung out at the C'ville Farmer's market on Saturday, and I took the girls to the Children's Discovery Museum downtown. After that we did some grocery shopping and went back home to play in the creek (or what's left of it - now that it's been so dry). Sunday, we hit mass, and came back home. Jane and I took a long bike ride together and walked the dogs. The kids had fun with grandma.

It was really awesome having a 'normal' weekend. I'll look back on this with fond memories next weekend while I'm trapped in the hospital.

By the way, I'm putting together an Oatmeal Stout recipe for the weekend I return from the hospital. My dad has graciously offered to do all of the heavy lifting and work for me. I'll absolutely need an assistant for this effort.:). I'll include my previous recipe in the next post, in case anyone has suggestions or comments.

Short Update

Wednesday's little jaunt took a lot out of me. I've been sore for a couple of days now. This, of course, won't stop me from running, but it will give me a little pause before my next run.

We're busy here these days, getting ready for school. Margaret received a letter from her kindergarten teacher, which she promptly read to me. By herself. It really makes me proud, she's so smart. And she knows she is, which can be a bit frustrating when you try to explain things to her.

Madeline, I think, is ready to take over the house when her sister leaves. She's getting her mother's vocabulary, and is talking more and more each day. She's incredibly cute.

My bro, Jeff, is coming up this week. We should be able to find something fun to do. I'll keep you posted. Thanks again all for the good wishes, support, and friendship you've all shown.

5k

Physically, I felt great today. Sure I was a bit bummed out, but hey, you can't have it all. At any rate, somewhere during the course of the day, I got this incredible idea. Since I'm feeling better, wouldn't it be nice to go for a quick run... A run always picks up one's mood, right?

Well, for those of you who don't follow details of the life of Patrick, I've been running pretty heavily for the past 4 years or so. No marathons, mind you, but half marathons, and consistent daily long runs. And I do well for my age, too. In distance running (i.e. 5+ miles) I typically ran about a 7 minute mile, and I did a little better than that in the Charlottsesville 10 miler this Spring. I've been proud of my ability, and my goal was to train for the Richmond marathon this Fall. My typical activity before this whole cancer mess was to go 5-7 miles on 4 or 5 days out of the week. I miss those runs.

In short, I like to run. Unfortunately, one of the things that cancer seems to do is take away a lot of your identity. I mean to say, I'm still me inside, but me is now housed in the body of a not-so-athletic guy who takes lots of drugs to keep upright, and has a curious lack of hair. C'est la vie, I guess. Chemo helps this process by draining your energy - killing off the red blood cells that keep those muscles fed with oxygen. The upshot is that things like stair climbing, walking, running, and rock climbing, seem to require vast reserves of energy. I tire easily, and don't recover as quickly.

ell, back to my run. This jaunt was a short 3-mile loop I used to do on my slow days, when I was trying to rest the old bod. Just down to Catterton road and back, no big hills, no long inclines, just a nice quick run. Today this 5k run was exhausting. A trip that shouldn't take me more than 22 mins took 32 and I had to stop multiple times to catch my breath. All in all, I think it was a good run for a guy on his second round of chemo, but it definitely put things in perspective.

Still, a couple hours out - I'm feeling good. I'm feeling relaxed, like I used to after long runs. There's nothing better after being out of control of your body for so long, than to get a nice dose of exercise. I hope to do it again soon.

Moral of the story: The mind is willing, but the flesh is weak.

Ice cream and magic mouthwash

Tonight we churned the vanilla ice cream base we made on Sunday. I just dropped it in the freezer and I think it turned out very nicely. It's basically a variant of the Hazelnut Gelato recipe found in the Joy of Cooking. We omit the hazelnut components and added vanilla beans instead.

For this go around, I've also experimented with adding 2 tablespoons of rum to the recipe. Usually with this recipe, the ice cream is soft and creamy at first, but as it sits in the freezer, it turns rock hard and is difficult to get out of the container. So I had an idea. In a stout (yes, stout as in Guinness) ice cream I made last year, I found that the ice cream remained soft and creamy for a week after the initial freeze. I'm thinking that it's due to having a small quantity of alcohol in it, which lowers the freezing point of the mixture allowing it to remain a little creamier. I'll let you know how this alteration turns out.

By the way, the stout ice cream was a homemade recipe and ended up being one of our best yet. It didn't taste like beer at all (we used 3/4 can of Murphy's Irish stout per 1/2 qt ice cream), but more like frozen coffee with lots of cream and sugar. It was delicious.

I've been pretty achy and sore today, but managed to keep away from the analgesics until this evening. They provide only a little relief, but hopefully I'm on the upswing from the last round of chemo. It also looks like the chemo has finally taken its toll on the lips and gums, which are getting a little sore. To fix this, the people at the cancer center prescribed something called 'Magic Mouthwash', which has a numbing agent in it and some antibacterial stuff. It tastes like pepto bismol, but if nothing else, it's interesting for the name. :)

The garden is just throwing tomatoes at us, and we're rapidly becoming overwhelmed. Jane is canning a lot of it, but it's tough to keep up. I'm picturing lots of tomato soup this winter.

A bad spot gets better

Wednesday through Friday of this week were not too kind. I guess that's just the nature of the chemo. Starting Thursday I was beat. Thursday night I had a migraine and didn't sleep, which resulted in a particularly unpleasant Friday. No sleep causes Patrick to be a little on the edgy and nervous side. I've talked to the docs about it though, and I think we'll be able to manage the pain and sleep better moving forward.

But things are improving, Saturday, we had a great day out as a family. Jane, the girls and I spent the day running errands in town. While Jane did shopping at the Focus flea mart, I spent time playing with the girls at the outside at a nearby park. It was a lot of fun. Funny, but these days I don't feel so distracted by 'important' things. It's kind of a big perceptual shift for me. Honestly, I'm not in much of a rush to get anywhere, especially on my days off. The time I spend with the kids is much more focused on them, rather than the other five things I feel that I need to do, or am planning to do.

Today was even better: we just hung around the yard, watered the garden, visited with our neighbors (thanks for the hospitality!), I mowed the lawn, we grilled squid, okra, beans, and corn for dinner, and made a base for vanilla ice cream, which I expect we'll churn tomorrow.

It's not always more fun, - I get way too introspective about this whole thing sometimes, but I suppose that's part and parcel with having the condition. Contemplating one's own mortality can be a little depressing. But at least I have my faith and a supportive family, and am (hopefully) well on the road to recovery. Ill try to ponder these things a little more, and focus on the downside less. I'll let my readers know if I figure out anything profound. :)